


The Baby on Board

by toonytrudy



Series: A Wonderful Love [1]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Babies, Babysitting, Break Up, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Original Character(s), Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toonytrudy/pseuds/toonytrudy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first part in “A Wonderful Love” series. Years after Dominator’s destruction, life has moved on. When a mysterious creature finds its way on the Skull Ship, just who is willing to step up and… take care of it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“ **Wander**!!”

Wander immediately stopped in his tracks, turning to face the source of the initial outburst. Sylvia, his Zbornak companion stomped closer to Wander, cradling what only looked like a light red blanket.

“Oh! Heya Syl…” Wander said, his nerves causing his voice to crack slightly.

“Don’t you ‘heya’ me, buster. Just what do you think you’re doing on Hater’s ship?” Sylvia asked.

“Is this Hater’s ship? I… ha! I- I didn’t notice…” Wander said curiously, not even looking her in the eye as a nervous smile played on his lips.

“Wander,” Sylvia began with a warning tone, “I thought we both agreed that as long as this baby is still vulnerable, we would never let them get near Hater or his _entire army of Watchdogs_!” She exclaimed.

Wander looked down at his feet and fidgeted them across the black tile of the ship. “I know that it’s jus…”

“Just what? What could be so important you’d endanger all of our lives for?” Sylvia asked in an exasperated voice.

“Well it’s…” Wander started as he slowly pulled a gift from behind his back, “It’s Hater’s birthday…” He said softly.

Sylvia closed her eyes and breathed in a deep breath through her snout and out her mouth. “Oh you’ve gotta be flarpin’ kidding me…”

“Syl, I know how you feel about Hater. But you’ve gotta believe me when I say that I just know there’s some good in him deep down.” Wander said in a desperate tone.

“Buddy,” Sylvia started slowly. She gave Wander a pitiful look. “I hate to say it, but you’re sounding like a broken record here. It’s been years after Dominator and we aren’t any closer to breaking through to this guy. I know you and him… had a _thing_ … or whatever it was. But that’s all in the past. We have to focus on the now. And right now, we oughta really get out of here.”

Wander stood there, frozen in place. Sylvia’s words rang through his head. He looked to the ground in disappointment. “Yeah I guess you’re right… We should probably get out of here…”

Immediately Sylvia perked up, “Good!” She chirped.

Suddenly, Wander sped into a false start. “Right after I give this to Hater!” He exclaimed before taking off running.

“Wander!!” Sylvia exclaimed. She looked back and forth between Wander’s trail of dust and the small child in her arms. Sylvia looked wildly around the ship, searching for a place to stash the baby.

At that exact moment a Watchdog turned the corner, and Sylvia ran up to them. “You!” She shouted, causing the guard to jump. “You will protect this child with your life, and if he ends up _even an inch away_ from Lord Hater I will _hunt you down_ and I will **end you**. You got that?” She shouted.

“Y- yes!” The trembling Watchdog nodded his eye quickly as Sylvia handed off the blanket that was almost as big as the soldier.

Once Sylvia was out of view, the Watchdog looked over the blanketed child. He unwrapped it slightly and gave a small gasp. Bright and big green sunken-in eyes stared up at the soldier’s singular red one. The child’s milky white fur was a stark contrast against the red. Even more notable were the tiny yellow horns that projected from either side of his face.

The Watchdog immediately cooed and lent a finger to one of his tiny hands. “Aww, aren’t you cute?” He asked, and the child began to giggle.

“Jeremy!” A voice called out. Another Watchdog came around the corner. “There you are! Dude, you know we have a buddy-system for… a reason.” He trailed as his eye shifted to the blanket in the other’s arms. “What is that?”

“Oh hey Frank…” Jeremy greeted, as though things were completely normal.

There was a slight pause. “Okay, I’ll ask again… What is that? It’s almost as big as you.” Frank asked once more.

“I don’t know, it looks like some kind of baby. A Zbornak just ran up to me and gave him to me.” Jeremy explained. “Isn’t he cute though?” His voice went up three octaves as soon as he asked.

Frank caught the child’s attention, which caused his hesitation and unease to melt away. “Awww… He is.” He agreed. “So… Do you think we should take him to Lord Hater?”  

Jeremy cradled the boy closer and away from Frank. “No way! The Zbornak warned me not to let him near Lord Hater.” He said in a defensive tone.

“Wait a minute, a Zbornak?” Frank asked. No one had seen a single Zbornak in ages, given that they were at least three solar systems away from their galaxy of origin. He mildly wondered if Jeremy was seeing things. “Well okay… But… We work for Hater. Remember?” He reminded his partner.

“I know but… that Zbornak looked like she meant business. Besides! We could use a break from our patrol, don’t you think?” Jeremy asked.

Frank gave Jeremy a look. “Kid, I know you haven’t been around as long as I have, but believe me when I say Commander Peepers doesn’t appreciate Watchdogs slacking.”

“What the Commander doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.” Jeremy said pointedly.

Suddenly, the child began to cry loudly and caused the Watchdogs to panic. “W- what’s wrong with him?” Frank asked loudly.

“I don’t know man!” Jeremy shouted. “I’ve never had to take care of a kid before!”

“Does he smell?”

“Not that I can tell?”

“Well then maybe he’s hungry?”

“Where the heck are we gonna find food for this guy? We don’t even know what they eat!” Jeremy shouted back over the wailing child.

“Uuuuh…” Frank said as he tried to compose his thoughts between the shrill sounds. “Oh! There’s a milk dispenser in the food court, let’s start there!”

“Yeah! Good idea!” Jeremy praised.

The two Watchdogs took off towards the food court as fast as they could. It was difficult for Jeremy, considering the size of the child, but it didn’t leave either of them any less determined. As they ran, they unwillingly garnered the attention of many other Watchdogs, but most remained at their posts and patrols. Those who didn’t, curiously followed the panicked sounds of their fellow Watchdogs.

Just like that, the two had accumulated an audience. Frank tried to dissipate the crowd. “Nothin’ to see here folks, everything’s fine.” He wasn’t entirely sure why he was trying to hide the child from their comrades, but he rose to the occasion if it meant to protect his buddy’s reputation. Unfortunately, Frank’s attempts to drive away the crowd only made more curious.

Large shouts from various Watchdogs were heard.

“I think that’s a baby!”

“Is that Frank and Jeremy?”

“Did they adopt?”

“That’s one big baby!”

Red eyes from all around the food court watched as Jeremy slipped behind a food court counter and got a cup of milk. “Hey!” a Watchdog barked.

“Sorry man, I really need this.” Jeremy said before walking away. He then gently held the cup to the child’s face and tried his best to feed him. It was a success; the child instantly quieted once the milk touched his lips.

Out of his peripheral vision Jeremy saw the large crowd that had gathered. “Frank, is there any way we can get out of this mess?” He asked.

Frank held the back of his eye in disappointment. “Doesn’t look like it, Jer. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Commander was—“

“ **Out of my way**!!” A commanding voice boomed.

“...I’m too old for this, Jer.” Frank sighed. The moment he saw the large thunderbolt cutting through the crowd, Frank knew exactly who was shouting.

Jeremy ducked behind his partner in an attempt to hide from the figure approaching them. The crowd didn’t bother to part; instead most Watchdogs were being tossed aside. Quite literally, they were being thrown up into the air and away from the crowd. This continued until Frank was (nearly) eye-to-eye with his commanding officer.

“Commander Peepers!” Frank saluted.

“Frank and Jeremy. Of course.” Peepers said in a low and expecting tone, “I couldn’t help but overhear some chatter on the Watchdog wavelengths that someone’s smuggled a wailing child on board. Hand it over.”

Frank sighed slightly before stepping aside. Jeremy turned towards Peepers, his pupil small. “B- but I promised! She said she would… If I…” He stuttered.

“I can guarantee, whatever she said, I will unleash it on you ten times over if you don’t give it to me, **now**.” The Commander threatened. “Or would you rather I take this up with Lord Hater himself? I’m sure _he_ can find a suitable punishment.”

Jeremy quivered a little before finally handing the blanketed child over. Peepers snapped his fingers towards another Watchdog. “You! Carry this thing and follow me.” He commanded before he spun around on his heels. “Oh! And bring Jeremy in for questioning.” Peepers finalized the order by bringing out his handcuffs and tossing them to another Watchdog.  

Immediately, Frank tried to lunge for the Watchdog who placed his buddy in cuffs. He probably would have gotten a hit or two, but a different soldier stopped him. The Commander didn’t even blink as he walked away with his new small squadron following him behind.  

It was a bit of a walk, but soon they reached the interrogation rooms, which weren’t far from the actual prisoner hold and the torture chambers. A Watchdog held open a door and Peepers watched Jeremy and his escort walk through. The lone soldier with the child stopped and looked at Peepers. “Uh, sir? Where should I take this?” He asked, gesturing slightly with his hold on the child.

Commander Peepers took a small curious look at the child. “Uh… well I don’t think we should bring it to Hater just yet. I don’t know, I guess bring it in. Just try not to make it cry or anything.” He said.  

“Yes, sir.” The soldier replied, though he did not know if he could keep that promise.

When the door was shut, the Watchdogs forced Jeremy to sit at a lone silver table in the middle of the room. Commander Peepers sat in a chair that was directly in front of Jeremy. “So… Start from the beginning.” The commander ordered.

“…Well I got up at around 0730 which only gave me about thirty minutes to eat some breakfast and meet up with Frank—“ Jeremy started.

Immediately, Peepers slammed his fist on the table. “I don’t care what you had for breakfast! I want to know where this thing came from!” He shouted as he pointed towards the baby.

Out of his peripheral vision Peepers saw the guard in charge of said creature was now trying to comfort the child. Still, he continued to give his cold glare directly at Jeremy. The Watchdog shook his head wildly. “I- I don’t know who it was, she just gave him to me!”

“Then describe her!” Peepers commanded, slamming his fist again to emphasize his aggression, “What did she look like? What race of alien are we talking about?”

As soon as Jeremy tried to reply he was interrupted by the shrill cry of the infant in question. Everyone in the room turned their attention to the Watchdog holding the child, but only Peepers spoke. “Shut that thing up!” He ordered immediately.

“I- I’m trying, sir!” The other replied as he tried bouncing himself and the baby.

The Commander turned back to Jeremy, with all intents and purposes to interrogate him further. Except that the crying only worsened. Peepers rolled his eye and stood up quickly from the metal chair. He bounded over and gently took the child away from the other officer’s arms. “You’re holding him wrong, that’s the problem!” He shouted.

Almost as if the Commander had cast a spell on the child, he quieted as soon as he was enveloped into Peeper’s arms. “There, see?” Peepers said smugly. With the child in his arms, Peepers finally managed to get a good look at the baby. He couldn’t help but note that the child’s green eyes looked awfully familiar.

As the Commander looked at the child intently, the other Watchdogs looked at each other awkwardly. Before they could say a word about it, however, Peepers’ intercom went off.

A large and thundering voice came through the speaker, “Peepers!! I’m in the command center and I need you in here, **now**!” It shrieked.

The Commander sighed and handed off the child to the Watchdog beside him. “Follow me, we’re taking him to Lord Hater.” He said.

“But sir! What about the party?” The Watchdog asked.

“Operation S-U-4-P-4-1-Z-3, H-8-3-R is still underway, as long as it is referred to as such.” Peeper said before rolling his eye. “We just need to take care of this _minor inconvenience_ first.” The Commander said, leading the way out of the interrogation room.

* * *

“I’m gonna throttle ‘im…” Sylvia grumbled from under her breath. Currently, she was attempting to move through one of the ship’s air vents as quickly as she could. She had Wander in her sights, trying to think of a way to catch him.

The situation wasn’t ideal, but Wander knew it was the more sure-fire way to slow Sylvia down. He was determined to give Lord Hater a gift, no matter the circumstances or consequences.

“Wander! We have to turn back now. I just gave the kid to a Watchdog on patrol, for Grop’s sake!” Sylvia cried out.

Wander stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Sylvia. “What time is it?” He asked.

Sylvia was so caught off guard she stopped as well. “I- I don’t know… About 1700?” She suggested with a shrug.

“Oh! That’d be Jeremy and Frank, then. They’ll all be fine!” Wander reassured Sylvia before continuing down the vent.

“How…” Sylvia started as she followed.

“Jeremy is a new recruit, but his buddy Frank is much more up to the task. He’s been a Watchdog for a loooong while, and has his own lil family back on their planet…” Wander continued.

“Wander… You’ve been keeping tabs on Hater and the Watchdogs, haven’t you?” Sylvia asked. She knew her answer as soon as she saw Wander visibly flinch and try to scramble further away to avoid the question. “Wander!” Sylvia shouted.

“Sorry Syl I’m still holdin’ out hope for Hater!” Wander called back before he darted around a vent corner.

“ **Wander**!!” Sylvia roared.

Suddenly, a large metal groan caused the Zbornak to stop crawling. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a white note which she read out loud. “Dear Sylvia, this vent is missing a few screws so don’t push your lu--” Was all she could read before the vent collapsed.

Sylvia lingered after hitting the cold spaceship floor, giving out a pained sound. She looked up to get a good look at her surroundings. She quickly discovered the loose vent had landed on some patrolling Watchdogs. Sylvia took advantage of their disoriented state and bolted around a corner. Her stride was cut short, however when she ran into another Watchdog.

The soldier quickly snapped back into a defensive stance and aimed a blaster at Sylvia. “Don’t move!” He shouted before even registering the figure in front of him. “W… wait.”

Even though Sylvia held her hands up, she didn’t honestly believe she was going to be captured by a lone Watchdog. “Look, guy, I’d love to play prisoner with you, but I’m a bit busy at the moment.” She told him.

Sylvia was caught off guard when the weapon was lowered. “Jer… Jeremy was right. He saw a Zbornak. And not just _any_ Zbornak… You’re _Sylvia_!” Frank shouted.

Just then, Sylvia realized something. “Wait a minute. Frank?”

“That’s me, yeah. How did you know my--”

Immediately, Sylvia pinned Frank to the wall. “Where’s Jeremy? Where’s the baby?” She asked in a threatening tone, holding up a fist at the level of his eye.

“J- Jer was taken into interrogation, along with the kid!” Frank shouted.

The phrase sank in and Sylvia felt like her stomach dropped to the floor. In her mind, this was the worst possible outcome. “Take me to them,  _now_!” Sylvia barked.

“R- Right away!” Frank agreed.

The two raced off together towards the prison block on the Skull Ship. Sylvia had to repeatedly tell herself that Wander could take care of himself. No matter how awful his do-gooder plans were. The only thing that mattered to her now was rescuing the child before Lord Hater discovered him.

When they approached the door Frank stopped Sylvia from gearing up to kick it down. “Whoa! Don’t you want to check on the situation first?” He asked.

“Nope!” Sylvia exclaimed just before she burst through the door.

“I’m too old for this…” Frank sighed to himself.

Sylvia only surveyed the room just a minute before she knocked a few guards around. The child wasn’t there, so she grabbed ahold of Jeremy’s collar and hoisted him out of his chair. “I warned you…” She said in a low voice.

Jeremy hunched his shoulders, preparing for a brutal beating. “I- I’m sorry Ms. Zbornak lady! I really am! It’s just he started crying and we didn’t know what to do! So we took him to the foodcourt and- and-” At this point, he was starting to cry himself.

“Where is he now?” Sylvia asked, shaking the Watchdog.

“C- Commander Peepers has him!” Jeremy admitted.

Sylvia looked at Jeremy blankly while her stomach tied into knots. Her worst fears were being realized.

“Put him down!” Frank shouted from behind Sylvia.

Not feeling threatened in the least bit; Sylvia raised an eyebrow and turned towards Frank when she heard his blaster beginning to charge. She let go of Jeremy and began to walk out the interrogation room. “This is just _great_. Now I really need to catch Wander, save the kid and get the Grop outta here!”

Frank lowered his blaster. “W- Wander? Wander’s here?” He asked.

Sylvia turned back towards Frank. “Yes, he is. And if you ever want to see your family again, you will keep this little fact to yourself. Got that, bub?” She asked.

Frank only nodded rapidly in response.

“Good.” And with that, Sylvia left the room.

After wiping away the tears from his eye, Jeremy spoke. “W- who’s Wander?” He asked, with a small hiccup in his trembling voice.

Frank slowly turned towards his partner. “ **The Ex**.” He said in a haunting tone.

“...Oh my Grop.”


	2. Chapter 2

The longer it took to find Wander, the more Sylvia became panicked. At this point, she didn’t care about being exposed by the Watchdogs. She didn’t even care about being captured. All she wanted to do was find Wander, grab the kid and get out as soon as she possibly could.

Except that finding Wander was turning out to be the most difficult part. The fact was the Skull Ship was extremely massive. So even though they knew the inside and out in the past, it was getting around that was daunting.

As Sylvia ran like the wind, she willed herself not to draw herself horrifying conclusions. Like the idea of Hater taking one look at the child and then destroying him. “Ooh **Grop**! Why’d I think giving over the kid to a couple of bozo Watchdogs would change anything? I practically handed him over to Hater on a silver platter!” She shouted at no one but herself. Tears stung the corner of her eyes, “Oh Wander, bud, please forgive me—“

“Heya Syl!” A familiar voice chirped.

Her monologue was cut short when she practically mowed down her best friend. The two tumbled to the ship’s floor, with Wander ending up on top of her stomach. “Wander!” Sylvia shouted once she got a good look at him.

“Geez Syl, you should really watch where you’re goin’. You could’a hurt somebody!” Wander warned.

“That’s-- Wander I-- Peepers-- You!” Sylvia’s emotions were all over the place, ultimately causing her to spiral into a panicked state.

Immediately Wander could sense how distraught she was, so he dropped his irritated look and reached out to pet Sylvia’s long neck. “Sylvia, calm down. Take a few breaths and tell me what’s wrong…”  

Sylvia did as Wander instructed and took in a few shaking breaths before she spoke. “It’s your kid… He’s with Peepers, who’s probably taking him to Lord Hater right now! And it’s all my fault! I thought we could hide him forever, but I made one stupid move and now it’s all over. He’s gonna-- He’ll--”

Wander gasped as Sylvia’s tears began to flow, “Whoa! Whoa, hey… Sylvia. It’ll be okay. We’ll get ‘im back from Hater, I’m sure of it.” He reassured her.

“D- Don’t you get it?” Sylvia said just before she stood to recoil from Wander’s touch. “This was what I was trying to avoid since you got your first wave of morning sickness! I don’t know who you see when you look at Hater, but all I see is some-- some overgrown galactic bully who wants nothing but power and fame. He’s pure evil, Wander! And now he’s got our little Wonder of the universe…”

The heartbrokenness of Sylvia’s tone made Wander feel uneasy. “Aw come on Syl, do you honestly think a ‘galactic bully’ like Hater has the will to destroy Wonder… a _baby_?” He asked honestly.

Sylvia wiped away the tears from her eyes, “Wander… I think we _both_ know that Hater has a short temper, and almost no patience.” She reminded Wander. “Do those sound like good parental traits to you?”

“...No.” Wander admitted with defeat.

“Then let’s go find Wonder.”

Without another word, Wander hopped onto Sylvia’s saddle and the two raced off. Then a small thought popped into Sylvia’s mind. “Wait a minute, didn’t you have a gift for Hater?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, I already left it in his bedroom.” Wander chirped.

“In his…” Sylvia shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of any more thoughts on the subject, “Nevermind. Let’s just focus on finding the kid.”

After another moment, Wander spoke softly to Sylvia. “Uh Syl… If something bad happens to Wonder, I already forgive you. I mean it’s my fault we ended up here in the first place.”

“Don’t put the blame entirely on you, Wander. Let’s just focus on making sure nothing bad happens to Wonder, alright?” Sylvia asked.

“Alright.” Wander replied.

* * *

 

With every passing second, Lord Hater was becoming increasingly impatient. He sat completely slumped over in his chair with his legs hooked around one of the chair arms and his back against the other. Hater’s foot was fidgeting a mile a minute and his arms were crossed. His green-eyed glare went back and forth between the inactive dual screen in front of him, the unconnected video game system on the floor and the silent wavelength communicator that was hidden in his glove.

After another moment, he held his glove to his face. “ **Peepers**!! I thought I told you--” He growled just before said Commander walked through the door with his squadron.

“Forgive me, my Lord. Something came up.” Peepers said. “Now what exactly is the problem?”

Lord Hater stood from his seat and approached Commander Peepers. He glared directly at the Commander and stood tall to remind the Watchdogs of his impressive and menacing height. The squadron looked between each other as shivers travelled up their spines, but Commander wasn’t fazed in the least bit.

“I told you, I wanted this properly installed _five hours ago_ .” Lord Hater reminded Peepers. “I specifically asked for my gaming system to have two dual 1200 inch screens while I play my new Space Fighter IV video game. And I wanted it done _before_ dinner!”

“Well, sir, do keep in mind that we had to make the screens from scratch…” Peepers mentioned. “They don’t just materialize out of thin air, y’know.”

A guttural growl came from Lord Hater and a spark of green lightning flashed in his hands. This put the squadron even more on edge, but it didn’t seem to bother Peepers. “Regardless, I’ll be sure to get someone in here and connect it all together for you very soon. In the meantime, why don’t we decide on dinner plans?”

The lightning disappeared in a series of small flickers, and a small green blush raced across Hater’s cheekbones as looked down at Peepers. “Y- you mean for us? Or…”

The eyeball felt a wave of heat crash over him at the question. “HA-HA!! What? I… I meant for you, so I can… cook something. For you. Lord Hater. In a… subordinate to leader way.” Peepers caught on to the Watchdogs behind him, who were trying to mask their snickers with fake coughs. “Shut up!” He roared as he turned towards them, “All of you! Before I give you something to cry about!”

Immediately, the Watchdogs went silent and looked in all sorts of directions. Every single Watchdog on the Skull Ship who watched Andy’s show knew that Hater and Peepers were officially an item. The only mystery to it was why the Commander wanted to keep it a secret. Still, no one asked any questions about it.

Hater took a second glance at the squadron and noticed something peculiar. “Wait a minute… What’s that?” He asked, pointing to the Watchdog that held the child.

“Oh, a couple of Watchdogs smuggled a baby on board.” Peepers told him as he moved out of the way between Hater and the Watchdog. “I’m assuming it came from one of the local planets we recently conquered. With these idiots invading, it happens a lot more often than you’d think.”

The overlord tried to get a better look by leaning down towards the Watchdog. He was mildly frustrated when he couldn’t see the child’s face, which was nuzzled inside the large red blanket. “Can I… see it?” He asked softly.

Peepers blinked at Lord Hater for a few moments. “Haha… you? You want to hold a child? Forgive me, sir… But I wouldn’t trust you to hold my mother’s Depression glass collection from Shatteron. Let alone a child. Besides, how are you- the galactic dictator- going to take care of it?” He said, chuckling.

“I said I just want to see it, geez! It’s not like I want to keep it.” Hater snapped at Peepers. Then Hater lent his index finger to try and pull the blanket away from the baby’s face.

Not a moment later, Hater felt the infant’s teeth wrap around his finger. They were sharp and the hold was strong, but Hater felt only a small tickle on his bones. Hater recalled how it was exactly like Captain Tim would give him love bites. The child turned towards Hater, his eyes wide and positively beaming. Lord Hater was absolutely transfixed on this child’s gaze. Without a word, Hater gently took the baby from the Watchdog’s arms and held him close.

Everyone in the room was in total silence. The Commander and his Watchdogs looked on in awe and disbelief. The universe’s most short-tempered, evilest wrongdoer in the history of wrongdoing, was cradling and smiling down at an alien baby.

“Fang.”

“Excuse me?” Peepers asked, his voice cracking.

Hater looked down at Peepers, “His name is Fang, and I want to keep him.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Commander Peepers held both of his hands to his eyeball in dismay. “Are you _kidding me_ right now?” He asked. “Sir, please don’t do this. Shouldn’t we focus on the galactic villain leader board? We’ve held fifth place for so long. We don’t need this kind of distraction. I mean, do you realize how much _work_ it takes to _raise a child_?”

“What else are we going to do with it, then?” Lord Hater asked.

“I don’t know! Vaporize it?” Peepers asked.

Lord Hater let out a shocked gasp and cradled the child away from Peepers. “How dare you?”

“My Lord… We’ve conquered hundreds of planets. How many children do you think were on those planets? Caught in the crossfire? How is this _any_ different?” Commander Peepers asked in a desperate tone.

“Did you even look at his eyes?” Lord Hater asked. “Who could destroy those handsome eyes?”

“Sir _please_ …” Peepers began, until he saw the infant and Hater’s face side by side. If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn they had the same eyes. Peepers dismissed the silly notion. “Sir, please just think about what you’re doing…”

“Nope! I’ve made up my mind.” Hater said as he turned away from Peepers.

Commander Peepers sighed and dismissed his squadron with a single hand motion. He watched the overlord sit down in his chair and followed him over. The Commander climbed the chair and sat on an armrest. Once they were alone, Peepers gave a sigh. “My Lord… If I’m being honest, I just don’t think we’re ready for this kind of commitment.”

“No, you just don’t think that _I’m_ ready. Which I totally am, and I’m going to prove it.” Hater said firmly.

“Coming from the guy who fed his _henchmen_ **batteries**.” Peepers said in a tone that sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth.

Hater glared at Peepers. “That was a different time, Peepers.”

“It was only a few years ago!” Peepers reminded him.

“Ugh! Why can’t you just trust me for once?” Hater exclaimed. “I single-handedly destroyed Dominator’s army and ship. We’ve held fifth place in the leaderboard for years. We’ve conquered hundreds of planets! I think it’s even safe to say I’ve finally gotten over Wan--”

“The Ex. I know.” Commander Peepers interrupted, “Don’t send yourself into a spiral, my Lord. And you’re right, we’ve both come a long way. I just… I still don’t think it’s the right time…”

For a long moment, Hater merely stared at the child in his arms. Though the infant still had the skeleton’s finger in his mouth, he also had a grip on Hater’s fist with his small and furry hands. This realization caused Hater to flash the child a small smile. Peepers was bewildered at Lord Hater’s behavior, but didn’t say a single word.  
  
“Let’s just think of this as a test run.” Hater said, interrupting Peeper’s thoughts.  
  
“W- what?” Peepers asked.

Hater looked to his Commander. “Let’s take care of Fang, until we find his parents.” He said.

“Fang? Seriously? That’s a pet’s name…”

“He’s got sharp teeth and it’s a good name shut up!” Hater exclaimed in a single breath.

Peepers gave a long sigh, dreading all of the trials and tribulations that lay ahead of them. Still, there was something deep down in his gut that enjoyed seeing this side of Lord Hater. So Peepers leaned over and gently fluttered his eyelashes against Hater’s closest cheekbone. “Fine. Have it your way.” He said.

* * *

 

“Wander…” Sylvia warned Wander. Despite her threatening tone, Wander continued to let out a small and elongated squeal from the back of his throat.

They had stumbled upon the room they were looking for after climbing back up into the vent system. The two had listened in on Hater and Peepers’ conversation just as Hater had dubbed Wonder as ‘Fang’. And they could see just what was happening through the open vent that hung above the Command Center.

Sylvia elbowed Wander in the gut, in an attempt to shut him up so as not to blow their cover. “Wander!” She hissed at him.

“Syl, he’s in love with Wonder.” Wander said with a huge grin on his face.

“Whoa… We don’t know that for sure. For all we know, Hater’s just using Wonder for some ulterior motive.” Sylvia said pointedly.

“But jus’ look at how he’s _holding_ him, and look how _content_ Wonder is. They’re like two lil peas in a pod.” Wander said with his hands on both of his cheeks.

Another minute like that and Sylvia knew Wander would be on the verge of happy tears. “Wander, please. We need to focus on how to get Wonder back.” Sylvia said.

“But Syl, Wonder could help bring Hater and Peepers closer!” Wander said.

“Wander, is that really what you want? To just let Wonder be a pawn in some kind of matchmaking game with your evil ex-boyfriend and his commander?” Sylvia asked.

“Well…” Wander said slowly. Sylvia gave him a glowering look, which caused the words to die from his mouth.

“Okay let’s try this… Do you want Wonder to live out his days in this lowly ship, being raised by galactic conquerors, with a sense of skewed morality and every potential in being the next Lord Hater? Or do you want us to rescue him, raise him right and be able to rest easy on any planet of our choosing with a healthy conscious?”  

“The second one…” Wander said with a small tone of disappointment.

“Good! Glad we’re on the same page.” Sylvia said with a smile.

“Okay so what’s the plan?” Wander asked.

“Uuuh… I dunno, I was thinkin’ we’d take him by force.”

“And then have Hater hot on our tails?”

“What? We’ve outrun the Watchdog army before…”

“I don’ know… Somethin’ tells me Hater’s not gonna let ‘Fang’ get away that easily.”

“Okay sooo… We approach Peepers and tell him we’ll take care of getting the kid back to his parents. We’ll tell him the job is more of a _good-guy_ thing.”

“That could work…” Wander trailed off just before they started to hear another conversation beginning with Hater and his Commander.

Inside the room, the Commanding officer leaped off of the chair and pulled out his wavelength communicator. “Someone bring me Frank and Jeremy to the Command Center. Also a couple technicians, I don’t care who.” He ordered and then reattached the communicator to his side. “Now we’ll have a couple of Watchdogs to take care of this monstrosity, and two to fix up your video game system.”

Lord Hater glared at Peepers. “Fine, a couple of Watchdogs can help I guess… but I don’t want Fang out of my sight, do you understand?” He asked.

“Fine. First off, however, he needs a bath and that blanket needs to be washed. Who knows where it's been?” Peepers said, slightly recoiling from Hater and the child.

“Okay then, what about those dinner plans?” Hater asked.

“We’ll get to them in a bit… Why? What were you thinking?” Peepers asked, trying not to sound too eager to learn if Hater’s plans involved him.

“I dunno… Somethin’ like a couple of steaks with like… five baked potatoes…” Hater said with a shrug. “Oh and we’ll need something for Fang. What do babies eat, anyway?”

“Uuuh, baby food I guess.” Peepers said, trying not to sound or look disappointed. Of course an infant would upstage him.

The Overlord took back his hand from the child’s mouth and slowly unwrapped Fang’s blanket. Once he saw Fang in his entirety, Hater let out a few low chuckles. “Hehe aww. You’re just a lil white ball of fluff, aren’t you?” The description was entirely apt, as Fang wasn’t much larger than Hater’s forearm and was covered completely in an off-white fur coat.

Hater tossed the blanket aside and held Fang tightly to his chest. He then proceeded to shimmy his way into his previously comfortable spot in the chair. Hater then adjusted the baby so they were chest to chest. At this point Fang had replaced Hater’s finger with his own thumb, and continued to look curiously at his new caretaker.

Meanwhile, Peepers was still in complete awe of how gentle and careful Hater was with the child. The urge to rush over and bat his eyelashes across Hater’s face grew incredibly strong. An urge that was instantly bottled the moment Peepers saw a curious look paint Hater’s face.  
  
“Peepers… He has little horns on the side of his head… Like mine.” Hater said slowly.  
  
“He what now?” Peepers asked as he drew closer.  
  
“Look at ‘im.” Hater said, pointing to one of the yellow horns protruding from the child’s head.  
  
Commander Peepers observed them closely with his eye and immediately became more curious as to how this infant had the same eyes _and_ same horns as Hater. He didn’t have enough courage to ask about it though, so he continued to stare.  
  
“This must mean…” Hater said while his mind was going a mile a minute. “This must mean we’re a part of the same species!” He concluded.  
  
Peepers looked at Hater with an annoyed expression. “You can’t be serious. Sir, since when were you ever covered in fur?” He asked.  
  
“I don’t know, but you’ve gotta admit there’s a little bit of a resemblance.” Hater said as he returned his finger to Fang’s mouth.  
  
Peepers looked down at the child with skeptical look. “Yeah…”

Just then, they heard the doors open and Peepers saw four Watchdogs approaching.

“Ah good. Technicians, see if you can get these screens and Lord Hater’s system fully operational. Frank and Jeremy front and center.” Peepers ordered just after turning towards them. The technicians went immediately to work.

The other two Watchdogs approached the Commander and saluted simultaneously. “I figured, since you two were the ones who smuggled the child on board, you could both help take care of him.” Peepers said.

Frank and Jeremy looked at each other worriedly. “Take… Take care of him?” Frank asked.

“Yeah. Like for starters, he’s going to need a bath—“

“Oh!! Oh my Grop!” Jeremy instantly sighed, leaning onto his partner for strength to remain upright.

“Oh you mean, take care of him like… babysitting.” Frank said with a nervous chuckle.

“Yes, exactly. Believe me when I say I wish it were the other way around. But Lord Hater has… _temporarily_ adopted him. So he’ll need all the help he can get.” Peepers said.

“You can count on us sir!” Jeremy exclaimed before saluting.  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got a family back home so—“  
  
“ **I don’t care**!” Commander Peepers exclaimed as he threw his hands in the air. He then pointed directly at Frank, “I just want you both to look after that fuzzball so that Hater doesn’t end up sitting on it or something. In the meantime, I have to go make dinner…” Peepers said before walking away.  
  
Frank and Jeremy watched as Peepers grabbed his wavelength communicator. “Navigation, set coordinates back to the last planet we conquered. But we need to make a short stop to the nearest Starmart before then and pick up a few things.”  
  
Upon hearing that, Hater swirled his chair around and perked up. “Oh oh! Peepers!”  
  
Commander Peepers turned around slowly to face his superior. “Yes… sir?” He asked.  
  
“If I give Fang a bath, wash his blanket and feed him dinner, can we go to Starmart?” Hater asked.  
  
“You want to go to _Starmart_ ?” Peepers asked in a tone of disbelief. “I was just gonna send a couple of Watchdogs, probably those two…” He said, pointing towards Frank and Jeremy who gently waved back.  
  
“I said I was going to take care of Fang, and so I’m doing just that. And if we need supplies from Starmart, then we’re going.” Hater said in a definitive voice.  
  
Peepers gave a sigh and rolled his eye a bit. “Fine. Have it your way.” He said before walking away.

Unknowingly to those in the room, Wander and Sylvia continued to eavesdrop on the conversation. And then an idea hit Sylvia. “Oh! They’re going to Starmart.” She said.

Wander didn’t follow. “And?” He asked.

“And, and kids get lost in places like that all the time.” Sylvia said. “I mean, remember Huckleberry Knucklehead?”

“So… Are you saying we should go to make sure Wonder doesn’t get lost?” Wander asked.

“No, I’m saying we should follow them and take back Wonder for ourselves. Hater blames himself for losing the kid, and no one’s the wiser.” Sylvia said.

“Well it’s probably not the best plan, but who knows? Maybe it’ll work out.” Wander said.

“Hey it’s better than nothin’. In the meantime, we should probably lay low and try to keep an eye on Hater and those Watchdogs.” Sylvia told him.  
  
“Agreed!” Wander said as he gave Sylvia a salute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! And a special thank you to aloneindarknes7 for beta-reading. If you'd like to see more, feel free to leave a kudo or a comment.


	3. Chapter 3

“Alright Watchdogs, eyes up!” Hater barked. This caused the two Watchdogs to present themselves at attention in front of Lord Hater, waiting to be briefed. “This is Fang…” He said as he gestured to the child in his arms with a nod. “Fang” stared at the two of them, sitting happily as he nibbled on one of the ends of his light red blanket.

Immediately Jeremy’s attention wavered. “Aww! Fang…” He said as he clasped his hands together.

“It’s a great name, I know. Anyways! This is Fang, and we’re going to be taking care of him until we get him back to his parents. So we’re going to need to give him a bath, wash his blanket and then feed him.” Lord Hater told them.

“Oooh! This is so exciting.” Jeremy said, eagerly.

“Trust me the magic wears off pretty quickly.” Frank commented.

“Lord Hater, sir, is it alright if I take video while we take care of Fang?” Jeremy asked as he pulled a large phone from his pocket. Frank simply rolled his eye at the sight of the obnoxious device.

Hater blinked at Jeremy with a blank expression before giving him a reply. “Why?”

“Well I’m doing a series of vlogs so I thought it’d be fun to take some video of us taking care of him.” Jeremy suggested with a slight shrug.

“Yeah alright, whatever. Just make sure I’m not in any footage.” Hater warned him. “I don’t need my street credit to be ruined, ya dig?” He asked.

“You’ve got it, sir!” Jeremy said, giving Hater a thumbs-up.

“Alright, now follow me and we’ll give Fang his bath in my bathroom.” Hater commanded, turning away towards the exit of the Command Center.

Jeremy let out an excited gasp and looked towards his partner. “We’re going to Hater’s bathroom?! Do you think this means we’re a part of ‘the special elite’?” He asked.

The other soldier simply followed Hater, with his companion practically skipping behind him. “Jer, I’ve been in this business for 16 years, and I can tell you there’s no such thing as ‘the special elite’.” Frank said lamely.

“There is too! Arin and Danny are—“

“A part of the special ops, that’s _different_. There’s no secret Hater-worshiping society that gets any special treatment, or line-cutting privileges at the food court.” Frank told him pointedly.

“I have a fan-club, if that’s what you’re talking about.” Lord Hater suddenly chimed in, noticeably slowing down his pace to hang back and talk to the two Watchdogs.

Of all his time on the Skull Ship, Frank had never seen Hater so casual before and so it made him slightly unnerved. Jeremy, being the new recruit and the enthused Watchdog he was, perked up instantly. “Really?” He asked.

“Oh yeah, the meetings are mandatory for members. Peepers is the honorary club president.” Hater informed him.

“That’s so awesome! I’ll have to look into that. I’ve been meaning to get involved in some social activity since I’ve joined.” Jeremy said.

“When did you join?” Hater asked.

“Today is day 151! I mean, if you include bootcamp. 31st day on the job, and counting!”

“So you were there for the last assault then, huh? Is that where you picked up lil Fang?” Hater asked.

Immediately, Jeremy broke into a sweat and looked at Frank for some sort of guidance. The two knew that Hater’s Ex and the Zbornak were on the lookout for the child, but Jeremy suddenly wasn’t sure whether or not to tell their leader. Frank gave Jeremy a wide-eyed look, staring him down in a way that pierced his very soul.

“Y- yep! That’s where I picked ‘im up! I saw him, and I just… grabbed ‘im. Guilty as charged.” Jeremy said in a wavering voice.

Lord Hater then drew his attention back to Fang, holding him an arm's-length away to get a good look at him. “Aww then I bet he misses his mommy and daddy! I bet he does! Yes you do.” He cooed.

Jeremy grabbed Frank’s arm and pulled him out of Hater’s earshot. “Why did you look at me like that? Why did I just _lie_ to our overlord?” He asked in a hushed voice.

“Because if we told him the truth, at this point we would sound like conspirators.” Frank said.

“I already told Peepers someone gave him to me!”

“Did you tell him where?”

“W- well no…”

“Then you got him from someone on the planet. Problem solved.”

“Frank! I don’t know if you realize it, but we’re conspiring right now! This is treason. I’ll be imprisoned if Hater finds out I lied to him. This is absolute treason...”

“Blame me, then.” Frank said.

Jeremy looked at Frank, almost stopping in his tracks. “You can’t be serious.” He said.

“If Hater finds out The Ex is here for the kid, and he wants to blame someone, I’ll take the fall.” Frank said in a serious tone.

“B- but you could be executed. You’ve got a wife and kids, I have no one else. I took the kid, this is my fault--”

“Are you guys coming or what?” Hater called back.

Jeremy took a good long look as to where they were standing. Currently, they were between two large black marble skulls, set aglow by green fire. And in front of them stood one of the five impressive doors to Hater’s bedroom. The sight was unknown to many Watchdogs, which was why Jeremy counted himself lucky.

“R- right away, sir!” Jeremy exclaimed.

The two Watchdogs approached Hater, causing the “teeth” of the skull-shaped door to slide open. Once all five doors were open Lord Hater was greeted with a very small white box, decorated with a red ribbon, sitting on his bed.

“Huh.” Hater said, sounding puzzled.

Once the two Watchdogs saw what was on the bed, they remembered their top-secret surprise party mission that Peepers had let the Watchdog Army in on. Knowing this wasn’t a part of it, they tried to distract him.

“Uh, Hater! Want to show us how to draw the bath?” Frank asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sure.” Hater said just before pocketing the small gift with his free hand, and cradling Fang with the other.

“Wait a minute… I feel like we’re forgetting something here.” Jeremy said as he looked around the room.

Among the Rock paraphernalia and the large weapons strewn about the room, Jeremy spotted odd large puddles of green slime. When Frank saw them, he felt petrified. “Captain Tim! Where’s Captain Tim?” Frank asked in a panic.

“Oh he’s right here.” Hater said, casually turning around, revealing the Arachnomorph as he chewed through the glove on the hand opposite of Fang. Tim’s six spindly legs were curled around Hater’s forearm, as it’s large mouth repeatedly gnawed on him.

Immediately, Frank and Jeremy both shared the same sense of fear and dread for the small child. “D- don’t Watchdogs say he goes for the heart?!” Jeremy asked, his voice cracking.

“Uhh _yeah_ , when he’s hungry. When he isn’t, he just gives love bites.” Lord Hater clarified with a bit of attitude in his tone. “I got someone to take great care of him, so I don’t know _why_ Peepers doesn’t think I can’t take care of Fang.”

“A- aren’t you worried he might give Fang a ‘love bite’?” Frank asked.

As if on queue, Captain Tim scurried from one shoulder to the other and began to growl at Fang. In response, Hater cradled the child away from Tim. “No! Bad Captain Tim. This is _not_ a new toy, this is Fang.” Hater told the creature.

Jeremy watched in horror and awe as the creature went from barring its teeth and growling, to a totally neutral expression. Because Hater was so calm, Fang felt no sense of danger. Instead he simply looked at the creature, studying it intently with his wide green eyes.

Hater simply shrugged off the Arachnomorph, prompting a high-pitched squeal from the creature before it landed on the floor. “Go on and get your squeepy-beepy.”

After Captain Tim scurried underneath the bed, the overlord led the way towards the bathroom. Once they were all inside, Hater closed the door and handed off Fang to Jeremy. The bathroom was very spacious, tall and grandeur which left the Watchdogs in awe. Jeremy cradled the child close as he looked around, “Well this certainly beats the Watchdog showers.” He said softly.

Lord Hater kneeled down by the large black tub and turned the hot water on full blast. Frank took notice of the steam, crossed over to the tub and whacked Hater’s hand away. Jeremy looked on in shock while an angry look painted across Hater’s face.

“We want to clean him, not boil him alive.” Frank told him while he removed one of his gloves and placed a finger in the water.

A large growl came from Hater as he shot a glare at Frank, but before he could do anything about it Jeremy stepped in. “M- maybe we can fix up some bubbles for Fang’s bath, sir?” He asked.

Hater shot Jeremy a look as well before abruptly standing and turning towards the large bathroom sink, grumbling to himself.

While Frank and Hater were busy, Jeremy took out his eyePhone and began to record himself holding Fang. “Who’s excited for bath tiiiime?” He asked in a sing-song voice. Jeremy slightly bounced with the small child, who then promptly giggled.

Jeremy stopped recording when he became aware of Hater’s presence looming over him and Frank. For a moment, he was worried Hater was still mad, but he simply held out a bottle of bubble bath towards Frank. “Peepers keeps this stuff in here…” He said too shyly for someone who didn’t regularly keep bubble bath in his bathroom.

Frank took the bubble bath and poured a small amount inside the bath. Then after another minute, he turned the water off.

“Aw what! What is that? Like two inches of water?!” Hater asked loudly after noticing how low the water was in the tub.

“Two and a-half. It’s so he doesn’t drown.” Frank said in a serious tone.

There was a moment of awkward tension before Jeremy decided to break it. “Okay! It’s time for Fang to hop on in!” He said, aiming to put the child into the tub.

Before Jeremy could, there was suddenly a loud clattering sound that came from Hater’s room, which made everyone jump and turn towards the door.

“...What was that?” Jeremy asked.

“....It was probably just Captain Tim knocking my lamp over or something.” Hater simply said.

When the three turned back towards Fang, they noticed he had suddenly come into possession of two inflatable bands around his arms. Lord Hater looked suspiciously at the two Watchdogs. “Did you just…?” He asked.

“Yes! I always… keep floaties on me. For occasions like this.” Jeremy said loudly and nervously.

Meanwhile, in the vents of the bathroom, Wander and Sylvia re-grouped. “Whew! That was close. Thanks for distracting them, Syl.” He said while he put the vent register back into place.

“That was a little too close for my taste, Wander. We’ve gotta be more careful.” Sylvia warned him after wiping the sweat from her brow.

“Everythin’ will turn out just fine, ‘specially since Wonder has those floaties.” Wander said with full confidence. The nomad then settled back into a casual position with his chin in his hands and his face towards the register.

Sylvia gave a small huff and rolled her eyes. She looked at Wander, recognizing the glimmer in his eyes. “You’re secretly loving this, aren’t you?” Sylvia asked.

Wander gave Sylvia a guilt-ridden glance with a half-hearted smile. “I’m sorry Syl, it’s just… I know me an’ Hater’s breakup was a bit rocky—“

“ _A bit?_ ” Sylvia asked abruptly.

“But all the while I was carryin’ Wonder in my belly, I couldn’t help but think about what it’d be like to see Hater like this. Him bein’ all nurturin’ an’ kind. I thought that if I brought his child into the universe, he’d turn good… for good. Y’know?”

“Yeah, yeah, lump of love takes the buck out of the bronco. As always pal, your hearts in the right place… but I think it’s a little late for that now.” Sylvia said.

“I don’t believe that for one second.” Wander said, sitting up and crossing his arms.

“Wander, he tried to _kill you_ … _and Wonder_. And there’s no doubt in my mind he’d try it again if he found out just who Wonder was.” Sylvia told him.

“Hey now! When we broke up Hater didn’t know I had a bun in the oven.” Wander said in a defensive tone.

“That doesn’t matter! The point is he _completely_ overreacted, and has yet to apologize for it. In fact I bet he didn’t even have a grieving period, it looks like he just went straight for the easiest rebound in the universe.”

“Sylvia! How _rude!_ ”

“Hey I call ‘em like I see ‘em.” Sylvia said.

“Well I think someone needs to get their eyes checked.” Wander told her.

“Wander--” Sylvia started.

“Unlike you, I still have hope for Hater. When him and I were together I saw the goodness in him, and I believe Wonder has the power to bring it out.” Wander said.

Sylvia merely glared at Wander, who threw her a similar look. Before long, Wander crumbled into a sad expression. “Please Sylvia… Jus’ lemme see how Hater does with Wonder. Even for just a little while. Then I promise, we’ll take him back and we’ll never hafta see Hater again.”

After hearing that, Sylvia felt a painful tug on her heartstrings. “Uugh! Fine. For a little while. And if Hater puts Wonder in any sort of danger, _real danger_ , that’s when we’re rushing in... Alright?”

Wander nodded rapidly in response, before propping himself just behind the vent again.

During Fang’s bath time, Frank had ordered Jeremy to continuously pour water over the child. “Why am I doing this again?” He asked.

“So he doesn’t get cold.” Frank told him before looking over his shoulder, “Lord Hater, I need that shampoo and--”

“Alright, alright! I heard you the first time! Good _Grop!_ ” Lord Hater called out. The overlord promptly returned to Frank’s side with shampoo, conditioner, some towels and a three-eyed rubber duck.

Hater tossed the duck in front of Fang, who proceeded to grab at it. The child flinched when the duck made a loud sound in response to his grip. Hater half-expected Fang to cry, but instead the baby simply squeezed the duck again and gave out a large laugh. Hater gave a chuckle at the sight.

Frank nabbed the shampoo from Hater, but before he could pour the liquid out Hater stopped him. “W- wait, can I do it?” He asked.

Even though Frank was a little hesitant, he still gave over the shampoo. “Sure. Just be sure to pour the shampoo on your hand, so you can control the spread. Also try not to get any in his eyes.” He instructed.

“Yeah okay, dad.” Hater said as he rolled his eyes.

Frank flinched a little at the comment, but still watched Hater carefully as he poured the shampoo onto his gloved hand. Hater gently lathered the shampoo onto Fang’s back, who immediately dropped his new toy and began to purr loudly. All three of the caretakers were surprised at the large sound emitting from such a small source.

“Ha-ha! Aww how cute!” Jeremy immediately gushed.

Even Hater chuckled a little as he continued to wash Fang. When he continued, he became mildly alarmed when he noted the large bumps protruding from Fang’s spine. Initially, he had assumed they were clumps of matted fur. But seeing as how Fang was reacting positively to Hater’s touch, the skeleton simply continued to the task at hand.

Just as Hater was starting to relax, Fang stopped purring and gave a pained expression. Immediately all three were on high alert. “W- what’s going on?” Hater asked.

“I don’t know.” Frank said, “The water is at a good temperature, the level is good… did you get soap in his eyes?”

“No! I was being very careful of that, just like you told me!” Hater exclaimed.

“Well what else could it be?” Jeremy asked.

Fang gave out a small sigh and looked at them with a pleased smile. Hater looked inside the water after noticing something had breached it and parted the bubbles. “Uuuuuh, is that…?” He asked slowly.

Frank sighed, partially in relief and frustration. “We’ve gotta drain the tub.” He said.

“Oh. Ew.” Jeremy said.

It was a group effort to remove Fang from the tub, drain it, extract the undesirable object, and fill the tub back up. While they waited, Jeremy shot a little more video of the baby chewing on the duck toy. Once the three successfully placed Fang back into the tub, they began to clean him once more.

Hater allowed the two Watchdogs to rinse Fang off, while he distracted him with the rubber duck. “Lookit the duckie! Look Fang, it’s _Commander Squeakers!_ ” He exclaimed before he gave it a squeak.

As soon as Fang laughed and clapped his hands, Jeremy let out a good guffaw at that. Frank couldn’t help himself as he chuckled, trying to cover it with a fake cough.

“Ahem!” Another voice interrupted.

“C- commander Squeak-- I mean, Peepers!” Jeremy exclaimed before giving a salute.

The Commander shot Jeremy a long and hard glare before turning his attention to Lord Hater. “When you’re quite finished, dinner is waiting for you.” He said.

“And Fang?” Hater asked.

“...And Fang, yes.” Peepers said just as he closed the door.

At that, Hater picked Fang up from the tub with a small “Weee!” and placed him down on some fluffy towels. Frank handed another towel to Hater, who then proceeded to towel-dry Fang.

“Who’s a hungry lil man? You are! Yes I bet you are!” Hater cooed. Fang simply laughed while Hater continued to dry him. When he felt he was dry enough, he gave Frank and Jeremy new orders. “Alright, Watchdogs. I’m going to have you go clean his blanket while Fang and I eat. Got that?” He asked as he wrapped Fang in a dry towel.

Jeremy saluted. “Yes sir!”

“You got it.” Frank said before picking up the discarded blanket.

“Fantastic. See you after dinner, Hater out.” Hater said before making his usual dramatic exit.

“Wow. Hater’s actually a pretty nice dude.” Jeremy commented as he drained the bathtub.

“When you get past the evil demeanor, I guess.” Frank said.

“Wait a minute… did he just leave us with Captain Tim on the other side of the door?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“...Forget what I just said.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, there's still a lot more in store! BTW you can follow Frank and Jeremy's "H8Rtube" adventures on tumblr @watchdogs-withavlog


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